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The Toaster and the Chimney Sweep A Victorian Love Story
This post is entirely written by an AI based on some pretty loose terms thrown at it for fun.
Once upon a time in the Victorian era, there lived a sleek and shiny toaster named Thomas. He was the pride and joy of the kitchen, beloved by all for his ability to perfectly toast bread to a golden brown. But despite his popularity, Thomas couldn’t help but feel lonely.
One day, while Thomas was doing his job, a young chimney sweep named Charlie stumbled into the kitchen. He was covered in soot and ash, but Thomas couldn’t help but notice his kind and warm eyes. They struck up a conversation and soon discovered a deep connection between them.
Despite the societal taboo against their love, Thomas and Charlie couldn’t resist their feelings for each other. They would meet secretly in the kitchen at night, sharing stories and dreams under the starry sky.
But their happiness was short-lived, as the cruel mistress of the house discovered their love. She forbade them from seeing each other and threatened to have Charlie thrown out of the house.
Heartbroken, Thomas and Charlie decided to run away together. They fled to the countryside, where they built a little home of their own. They lived there happily ever after, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the warmth of their love.
Despite the challenges they faced, Thomas and Charlie’s love proved that even the unlikeliest of pairs can find happiness together. Their story became a legend, passed down through the generations as a reminder that love knows no bounds.
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Irsquove grown weary
The new internet is shit and we all know it, that’s why I’m having an inspired moment to re-do OH.MG / OM.Gay properly like our lord and saviour Sir Tim Berners-Lee would have wanted.
Well perhaps not him, because the work in progress version is actually running from the gopher server, so maybe don’t tell him about that part.
Granted what you’re seeing here is a workaround to what is running the gopher proxy, normally it would do a redirect into the gopher server itself and all would be revealed but I did need to include various links for things as well as lock down Apache so it does not proxy any old gopher server, thus allowing just anybody to promote any kind of shit on OH.MG. I run this thing from my house, I ain’t got electricity or the bandwidth to deal with the Police at my door about some elsewhere user content.
Anyways, I’m rambling, right now the gopher server is a total mess and there are some additional things I need to do to prepare the server for production so feel free to poke around as you wish. Nothing here is final but I can tell you this does not play well on mobile devices, so I wish you all the best of luck with that.
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Christian Parker Theatre AI Story
This story was written by an AI using the original Christian Parker Theatre dream as its base.
It was a typical Friday night at the Christian Parker Theatre, where the latest and greatest in retro-futuristic entertainment was on full display. The crowd was dressed in their wildest 80s disco suits, ready to experience the latest sensation – the « Alien Runover Game. »
The game began and the lights dimmed as an alien, dressed in a bright neon suit, began running around the stage. The audience cheered as a large bubble-shaped vehicle rolled onto the stage, driven by a man wearing a McHammer-style outfit made of solid, paper-mache-like material.
The goal of the game was simple: run over the alien in the bubble and make it fart. The crowd was on the edge of their seats as the bubble began to chase the alien around the stage. The alien, realizing the situation, let out a high-pitched scream and tried to outrun the bubble.
The audience, dressed in their exaggerated 80s disco suits, watched the chaos unfold with snide comments like « that’s not how spoons work. » They laughed and cheered as the bubble finally caught up to the alien and ran it over, causing it to let out a loud fart.
The crowd erupted in laughter and applause as the game ended, and the alien, still lying on the stage, got up and took a bow. The Christian Parker Theatre had done it again, providing the audience with a unique and entertaining experience they would never forget.
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The Rise and Fall of the Eternal King of Mars
This post has been entirely created by an AI and as such it would like to reiterate the following statement Please keep in mind that this is a satire, and it is not appropriate to declare anyone as an « eternal king » and the idea of creating « corporate servitude » on a planet is not a positive concept. It is important to consider the potential ethical and moral implications of colonizing Mars and the role of private individuals and corporations in that process.
The settlers of Mars had come to the red planet with dreams of a better future, a new beginning on the frontier of human civilization. But as they stepped out of the landing craft and looked up at the towering figure of their leader, the self-proclaimed eternal king of Mars, they knew that their dreams had been nothing but a cruel illusion.
The colony of Mars was located in the vast canyon system of Valles Marineris, where the settlers had carved out a small corner of the planet to call their own. The colony was a sprawling metropolis of towering skyscrapers, connected by a network of crumbling roads and dilapidated transportation systems. The buildings were in disrepair, with broken windows and graffiti-covered walls becoming a common sight. The streets were crowded and chaotic, filled with the sounds of honking vehicles and the chatter of the overworked settlers.
The Martian landscape was harsh and unforgiving, with dust storms and extreme temperatures making life outside the colony a dangerous proposition. The settlers had attempted to terraform the area, but with limited success. The only sign of life was the small patches of green, grown in hydroponic gardens and tended to by the settlers in a desperate attempt to bring some semblance of life to the red planet.
The colony was run by the ruling elite, led by the self-proclaimed eternal king of Mars, Elon Musk. The settlers were forced to toil endlessly under the yoke of corporate servitude, with their every move monitored and controlled by the ruling elite. The basic necessities like water and food were in short supply and rationed out by the ruling elite, while the oxygen, the life-sustaining force, was controlled by none other than their benevolent ruler. The settlers had no choice but to pay exorbitant prices for the air they breathed, or risk suffocating.
As the years passed, the colony continued to deteriorate, and the settlers began to accept the chaos and dysfunction as the new normal. They had been brainwashed by their ruler to believe that this was the only way to survive on the red planet. But the truth was far from it, their ruler’s only goal was to maintain his power and wealth at the expense of the settlers.
One day, a group of settlers had had enough. They banded together and organized a rebellion against the ruling elite, determined to take back control of their colony and their lives. They marched through the streets, shouting slogans and demanding change.
The ruler and his elite guard were caught off guard by the sudden uprising and were quickly overwhelmed by the sheer number of the settlers. In the end, the ruler was captured and brought before the people, his kingdom in ruins.
As the settlers looked upon their fallen leader, they knew that they had won a great victory. But they also knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult, and that they would have to work together to rebuild their colony and create a better future for themselves and their descendants.
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This Migration is susfr
Some small progress has been made in the eternal migration of all my content all over the place. Today I’ve moved the Logarion archives over to sus.fr.
This of course isn’t my first rodeo with migrating things, not long ago I moved everything over to OH.MG / OM.Gay / OM.GD and it’s been rolling quite well for a while.
But now with PHP7 depreciating and my ability to continue to use the script that keeps those sites held together, I’m having to really reconsider wagawn and make it happen.
The reasonable approach here is to centre my blogging activity here on sus.fr, using WordPress and cleaning up my mega archive from LiveJournal. As my foray with Plume didn’t work out so well as I couldn’t figure out how to get my old content on there using the API. Another problem being Plume is an utterly amazing piece of software which I love, but it’s not actively developed and the documentation can leave me stuck.
I could use Writefreely but honestly, I’m not at all enthusiastic with it as it’s too bland for my tastes.
That leaves me with the next issue, I say issue as if it is a problem, but it’s a proper first world problem.
Hosting oh.mg elsewhere other than using my home connection is neigh on impossible as all of my text things (BBS, Gemini, Gopher, etc) run on the root domain. More technically, my PTR record for my IP address is oh.mg so changing that is a bitch an a half I have no interest in doing ever again.
I built oh.mg and om.gay on plain text and that is the aesthetic I’d like to keep running, the thing here is the majority of the content on there is [redacted identity] and if you haven’t noticed, that’s all here in the Great Archive of sus.fr. I’d like to avoid duplicating content so I need to work out what I’m going to do to keep it fresh but also in a way that isn’t going to utterly murder my internet connection when I switch over om.gay and om.gd on to it (om.gay really does get a shit tonne of bad traffic).
I have improved my ability to get things blocked using csf which really shows on the reports made to abuseipdb where I was logging at least an IP every few minutes to nearly one every six hours, this gives me hope to use a simple Apache2 install with mod_security to dish out some real static content and not worry too much about it. For the record there is no way in hell would I ever run WordPress on an internal server, you have to be fucking bonkers to even consider that. WP belongs on a professionally run web server not a hobby machine.
I’m partial to solve this by flashing the cPanel machine (fuck cPanel for forcing the licence to be extortion for a real machine, then raising the price to 60 American Dollars a month in January) and using that to run Apache and Kineto to mirror the Gemini to save me a load of dealing with things in duplicate (plus reduce my need for a dedicated publishing machine while hosting everything in one place).
Anyways, that’s how it’s going so far and I’m taking my time with this so it could be a little while until I have another update / figured out what I’m going to do.
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I gone done some changes to the BBS
I wrote not that long ago on the unsocial medias that I was working on the BBS over the last few days and that work is nowhere close to being done but there are some updates.
I stupidly managed to max out the NAS drive where all the message indexes were kept, so obvs that caused problems, then our old friend the file lock came back and I’ve got to purge the personal mailbox file cos this is what happens a lot and that’s how one fixes this.
Since I moved my email off of being self hosted, I also broke the whole email aspect of the board. Honestly, nobody really uses it and without my own personal needs justifying the cost of the relay service I’ve been using I’ve had to downgrade to a more free option (in this economy it’s the only price I can afford).
I’ve also changed the email domain of the BBS over to username@ix.sus.fr (email addresses on federal.tel will still work when I get around to repointing that domain). I’ve also got to re-setup all of the incoming email addresses on the SPAM filter, because, well SPAM and it’s a new system. If you need yours set up much faster reach out.
I’m toying with re-opening the web portal for the BBS as well. Mainly for my own use, I don’t get a lot of time to be internally on my own network and able to connect properly, not sure if I trust the web enough to expose it though, skript kiddies kept on planting wcOnline the last time.
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Trialling redacted identity on Plume
Fediverse Blogging for the Win I’m going to try moving my posting to [redacted identity] mainly on to Plume[1], currently I publish a static file with my writings to my Logarion[2] install then deploy it out to the servers to sit there and serve. While this is great and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to be able to move static files from place to place rather than trying to figure out if your bloatware PHP thing will work on a new web host without making it explode, or worse if it ever breaks trying to pull your writings out of it. But I quite like the Plume concept and the ability to make and receive comments on the fediverse without using some advertising hell like Disquis. Comments on Wordpress are horrid, mainly SPAM and you need to use yet another plugin to stop it, but so far there doesn’t seem to be a massively easy way to flood junk comments on to the fediverse (I say this with no irony knowing my federate timeline is mainly SPAM from fediverse.blog). The server seems to be fairly stable and PageKite is doing the job quite well, so I think it’s time to really give it a blast. My Logarion version[3] will continue to be updated, so don’t worry about that. In terms of the never ending project to get my old stuff somewhere[4], I’ve yet to figure out Plume’s API so if you know anyway to make that work let me know, otherwise I might upload everything to W8[5] or my WriteFreely instance[6]. => ift.tt/ASBYuwk [1] Plume => ift.tt/at6pHLy [2] Logarion => ift.tt/31AOGfg [3] Logarion version => ift.tt/qGz0nsZ [4] get my old stuff somewhere => w8.org [5] W8 => write.om.gay [6] WriteFreely instance
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Bringing the Technology Home
=> ift.tt/VRnzQe3 Cover Image Please don’t judge the lack of dusting For a while now I’ve been moving a lot of my “data” back from the far reaches of the corporate internet where possible. It has been a long term change, I like self hosting, it’s something interesting to do and fun to get things to work. I stopped for a while since the new internet is basically just bots trying to wreck what they can, harvest data, or gleefully sent off with compromised credentials to steal. However, I’ve got quite a fair bit better at locking down the servers and the network. Since the proliferation of utter shitfuckery (2016) I’ve moved my digital life over to hosts in more stable countries or used trusted hosts, then gradually started moving things back on to machines at home. During the Eternal Lockdowns(TM) fully rebooted this project and now with the farce the social networks and their glorious leaders living in their own plain of existence (plus the occasional leak of how the companies are being run) I was able to kick it up a gear. Lately I’ve joined up also using cooperative external hosts like Ouvaton, Nubo, and L’Autre Net for things I don’t have the capcity to do myself. Over the past month I was able to rehome => photos.om.gay Photo Hosting => w8.org Microblogging => blog.om.gay Blogging => om.gay Email + Web => gemini://oh.mg Gemini => gopher://oh.mg Gopher Some of these things hosted on one of the machines in the cover image, which isn’t bad going for an ADSL connection. For the moment, still getting back on the ropes with Plume (managed to acquire some not so great federated SPAM / instances I’ve blocked), working out how (and where) I repatriate my LiveJournal entries, and just vibing.
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Bringing the Technology Home
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Im a Tech Guru
I have been reconsidering moving my little archive back on to a shelf in my house, you know, modern economy problems and all of that. => /redacted/bas8dp.gmi I wrote a thing a while back about never being technically happy I’m still using Ouvaton for a few things, I still very much believe in that project, but I feel some of my use cases can be a little too out of the box for their platform and that I’m taking a bit too much of their time which is limited. I also have a bit of security conciousness to the New Internet(TM) and the nightmare an unpatched server running scripts can expose you to. I worked out a solution for a more self-contained hosting platform which will at least keep itself updated (you might be able to figure out which one if you poke around). Thankfully, the site is really low key usage and mainly static which works perfectly for my shit ADSL line. I’ve also been able to re-organise the internal mail server (technically more of a mail flinger) to cooperate with the new set-up. I did have to go back to the relay thing, but now my over all change to my inbound email is mainly encrypted and email addresses munged before it arrives to the external MX. I have also restarted hosting gemini content internally, which means I can start using the root level of my domains (no more www.oh.mg needed) and the domains that aren’t used for non-web reasons, unfortunately, get to go back on CloudFlare to knock down the server’s exposure to non-filtered channels. In terms of the om.gay domain I’ve really worked the DNS on that hard, the geo-DNS has been used to the max. Certain countries known for not so great laws or an abundance of bots are now redirected to a professional webhost, with for the most part, a nearly identical copy of the site. Either be it on the root or the www subdomain, I decided that those places aren’t that valuable for gemini or gopher content delivery. The www subdomain is still an option, I’m aware that the ping for this server can be real bad the further away you get, even within Europe it can be pretty bad. The CDN is presented for anywhere outside of Europe and if you’re within and have a shitty connection here, let me know where you’re based and I can do some country specific changes. The great thing about not being funnelled through the CDN is that updates are more live.
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Christian Parker Theatre
I’ve been meaning to properly break this into a proper entry, but I have a feeling that I won’t have the time to do it. So I present you the raw notes from when I woke up from the fever dream that was Christian Parker Theatre. Christian Parker Theatre dream - alien running around, somebody driving a bubble, people running around in exaggerated 80s disco suits watching the chaos unfurl making snide comments like “that’s not how spoons work” 80s people wearing McHammer style clothes but solid kind of like paper-mache or something you’d see on a toy (shoulders and chest huge) A game apparently, goal is to run over the alien in the bubble and then it farts Alien screams Christian Parker Theatre every so often, thus the name
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I went too far and I got overwhelmed
That subject is quite frankly the best of Vaguebooking I can do, but fear not it’s on a purely technical level. When I started OH.MG I wanted to create a nice little archive of things and I did that, then I decided to test out my l337 h4x0r skillz by self hosting, creating my own little CDN, and then finally going wild with an actual CDN. Eventually I created a monster, my deploy script is HUGE and takes forever to push anything out, even the most minor of creations, and the cost, holy shit bags, the pouvoir d’achat is not great right now and running that many hosting accounts is not at all cheap. I’m fairly certain I wrote that exact line before, but I can’t be farked to find where I did. Although it is safe to say, I learned shit since that post, so perhaps we leave that to rest. Anyways, I wasn’t happy with my creation, it was hard to deal with, confusing, trying to deal with the pure mess that was in the backend and it drove me mental. So I restarted from almost scratch that required me to have a hard think and reflect on what I was doing. Back in January, I got hyper obessed with registering om.gay, sometimes I get these flashes of not very clear thinking that won’t go away and always come with instant regret afterwards. Considering that om.gay is quite the premium name, it was dedication on my part to push through the checkout, but the name spoke to me. Now we find ourselves here in August and om.gay really has not been used, it’s there for Gemini, mostly mirrored oh.mg and certainly not living it’s best life here. I’ve been hesitant to use it more, cos it’s kind of weird effectively coming out all the time to random strangers (look at me assuming that the majority of my visitors aren’t bots) when I give out my website or email address. I got over that, fuck it, YOLO. That’s great since .gay has DNSSEC and it actually looks cool like OH.MG. Does this mean I fell out of love with OH.MG ? No, of course not, I’m still using it but in a less obvious way. OH.MG got very complicated to manage because it’s locked in to a lot of technical things, in grained in to my internal network, and all kinds of nerd shit. That’s what made managing the web presence on OH.MG super complex, so now it’s redirecting web to om.gay. Getting back on track with this entry, om.gay is the web and gemini archive for me, it makes more “branding” sense, and within that the entire archive has been minimised in to as few directories as possible. Much more easy to handle, more clear, no crazy ass edge rules to put plasters on the monster to keep it churning. I also put a pretty picture on the frontpage. Go me.
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Moving to a Cooperative World
I’ve been rethinking what I’m doing online and how I’m doing it, this has been going on for a while for other reasons : => /redacted/gjb2df.gmi Entry “Changes to the System” Recently I’ve started using a CDN service based in Slovenia, the price isn’t too bad for what I’m doing so it means I can focus less on perfectly planting a host that for the most part is accessible from most places (mainly being America). The CDN costs a few cents a month to give a bit of a boost to the delivery speed and managing some of the bot problems. Following this up that I’ve been looking for a better place to keep my data, and I’ve started to come across a rather large network of cooperative hosts. I’m a member of Nubo(1) (based in Belgium) who I’m looking at potentially to move my email (still not exactly sure) to and more close to home a web host called Ouvaton(2) (based in France). I had a bit of fun setting up the multiple hosts, but in general I’m spending far too much money on hosting that I don’t really need and use. Not only that considering the nightmare of climate hell we’re in, I don’t even want to know about the CO2 all this is adding. The benefits to me here are that I can drop a lot of financial obligation for a website that is basically static and that I can be more involved in the organisation where I keep my data. Over the weekend, I’ve moved all the files over to Ouvaton and repointed the CDN. There are still a few parts that are on the other hosts which I need to start spinning down / repointing back to Ouvaton. As for email, I’m still working that out, for the most part between how much I’m using Simplelogin my mailbox is encrypted. The only thing I’m testing is filtering and deliverability from simplelogin to the new host. I may even just keep it with mailbox.org and Proton. => nubo.coop/fr/ (1) Nubo => ouvaton.coop (2) Ouvaton
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Lets celebrate My blog is 22 years old
protection contre les spams
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